Looking for retirees that want to make a differance.
As a psychotherapist, Life Coach and Yoga Teacher, I can say that I am in the healing profession. Besides “Do No Harm”, which is part of the ethics of my occupations, I also believe in sharing with whom I am working with at the time, the importance of “selfless service” or ,Seva as its called in India. It doesn’t come as easy as you might think. Everyone struggles with there their inner judge and prejudices. Doing service the way my organization “Under the Bridges and on the Streets” does, is not for everybody. However if your really serious about including it in your life, as a therapist, life coach and yoga teacher I would encourage you greatly. “The Frangrance remains in the hand that gives the rose.” Ghandhi
This short piece on the following link is how I and our volunteers bring balance in our lives.
John Shinavier, MA, Executive Director of “Under the Bridges and on the Street”.
More information can be found at http://www.underthebridges.org
After a couple of hours of distributing the 70 plus bag lunches to the homeless, we were finished. Now on our way home I asked a friend who had come along to help, how she was feeling. Kate, an influential lawyer, shows up regularly whenever our group of volunteers make lunches for the homeless population of Los Angeles.
“I feel such gratitude. I realize in giving out lunches how much I’ve been holding onto from the previous week. It’s so incredible, you should write a blog about it.” I heard her window slide open, and glanced in my rear-view mirror at her relaxed face taking in the breeze from the freeway, as if she were leaning into the wind aboard a swift sailboat. Could you clarify, I asked?
“Write about how doing service cures anxiety,” her tone suggested my lack of insight in her change of mood. “It works, now you write it!” She closed her eyes in serene bliss and gave over to whatever fantasy the wind and the sun on her face were stirring up.
The above clearly illustrates to me what I have taken for granted in the twenty plus years doing small selfless acts of humanitarian relief. I often forget, but witness countless friends and strangers all saying the same thing, that when they serve someone else, with no thought of getting anything back, their anxiety about their own lives is forgotten in that moment. Sometimes, these good feelings will last well into the following week.
Rather than go into a whole psychological treatise and alienate a lot of people, I’d just like to summarize the following. I observe that when someone looks beyond their own discomfort and helps someone who is hungry or suffering and lacking in what most take for granted and then follow up with an exchange be it a meal, a blessing, a hug or something else they may need, the universe will hand them back their own suffering hearts now filled to the brim with good feelings.
]ohn Shinavier, volunteer
We’ve all done it; made resolutions bonded by the power of a clock that strikes twelve times at midnight of a New Year. It’s all well-meaning to attempt to change, but to launch that change at a time when perfect strangers, in drunken revelry try to maul you, is just bad timing. Your going to fail and hopefully you’ve kept these resolutions to yourself.
Besides the word resolution as defined in Merriam Webster means: the act of finding an answer or solution to a conflict, problem, etc.. The word that you mean to use is solve, which means: to find a way to deal with and end (a problem).
I vote to amend the date for transformation to the second day of the New Year and not the first. By then your head is clearing up, the pressure is off, and no one cares what you want to change in your life since
they have been silenced by their own shame in not keeping their own hopelessly flawed resolutions.
So, worry not about starting anything on the first of any month, much less the first of any new year. You have a few more days to shamelessly act out and lie to yourself that the first day of the New Year you will be reborn like the Phoenix through the fires of a night of professionally making an ass of yourself.
Cut yourself a break as well as, the rest of us who are tired of hearing what you need to change in yourself to get the life that you deserve. The last part of that sentence is a lie in itself. What you deserve is a healthy dose of common sense to go after what ever you think will make you happy and rely less on the statement itself, which sounds like the drunken ravings of a Narcissist!
“Happy New Year”
John J Shinavier, MA, Life Coach, Therapist [please use the following poll or rate the article. It helps me help you.
We couldn’t ask for any form of media that represents “Under the Bridges and on the Streets”, as Mr. Conti.has in this short film. Thank You Mikehas in this short film. Thank You Mike
Originally posted on Under The Bridges And On The Streets:
We think Michael and his team captured what Under The Bridges’ mission (and vision) is, perfectly. We invite you to share this with your friends and family!
As a therapist / Life Coach that enjoys helping people reach their goals and re-animate their lives. Therapy can be exciting if you are so worn out from hitting the same familiar wall over and over again. You can perhaps find relief by reaching out to someone who has experience in these matters and can oversee your big picture.
Age sometimes has a lot to do with how much a person can attempt to change their situation. Regardless of age there are some who still retain the mental and emotional flexibility to make changes. I’d like to think when younger in their prime and faced with a challenge they charged into it gladly. Now so many years later they are willing, but need a little push.
Years pass and experiences have been harvested and processed. Choices may have been made to avoid, reject or jump in feet first to what life demanded. Optimism, that battery that continues to be drained, needs a tune-up. Belief in oneself has perhaps drifted apart from intuition and needs to be connected again.
If any of the above resonates with you, then be aware that your not alone in this. Without consciously being aware of it, we’ve hunkered down, and held tightly to what we have known, keeping anything unfamiliar out. Distrust has taken the place of optimism. Another way to clarify this condition is that our pain, depression, and anxiety is known and therefore there are no surprises. It has a kind of fuzzy comfort to it. What I hear as a response to questions requiring change is; “That’s not a problem, I’m fine with the way things are.”
Once we identify what is holding them back (image of self, deeply flawed belief systems etc.), then the choices come into sharp focus and they either will continue in therapy or cease attending.
In pondering, as I do after a client has left, what else I could have said that could have made them more of a warrior in their own process, what intervention, what sage advice could I have given? I then realize my own limitations in the time that I have had with them and can only hope that they return.
What I would like to impart to a client resistant to change would be : “You have a year left to live, now be honest with yourself, nothing stands in your way.”
John Shinavier, MA, RYT, Life Coach [please take a moment and rate the blog with a star or two. By leaving me your E mail and a response to a blog, it helps me help you more specifically.
Working with clients that are plagued by depression, as well as having a life long relationship with it myself, I think I can speak with some experience as to the effects that it can have on one’s life. For myself, I found that living without treating ” it”, was a huge waste of time. Depression can stop one from getting on with the life they want.
Because of licensing agreements, most therapists cannot discuss one antidepressant against another with clients. This is a doctors field of expertise. I have often found the local Pharmacist to have more time and more information when comparing the side effects of say Prozac versus Lexepro to a potential consumer, than a doctor who doesn’t have the time for such a discussion.
So, hopefully, without too many changes of medication, you find the one that works for you. The first thing you may notice is that you now have choices, that months prior to taking the medication you never thought you had. It raises your tolerance for anxiety and gives you time for doing more of what you love. You have hope and dreams that now don’t seem all that impossible to achieve.
What I’ve yet to find is an easily understandable discussion or article that illuminates what a client who is beginning to feel better should explore while in this new state of awareness.
More specifically, I will address the tools that a client might work towards acquiring, while they are on an antidepressant that is working for them. Because I myself have plateaued on these drugs, and have, over the years taken myself off of them as an experiment to see, if, in the absence of taking them, I can continue to “live free” of the medication. I have learned that the more I have practiced using newly acquired tools while on the medication, there stands a very good chance that I will rely on them more as I get older, rather the antidepressant.
For this blog I will simplify, rather than expand on what each behavioral change can do for a client, by using bullet points. While on an antidepressant a person could:
- Go back to school, or explore another field of interest.
- Change diet
- Start therapy to help focus on goals that seemed impossible before
If one or all of these resonate with you, than this article is dedicated to you. All have proven to increase a persons mood and range of feelings about themselves and the world they live in. If you were never disciplined before, than now is your chance to bring this into your life with a vengeance. More than anything else a disciplined person is one who no longer procrastinates but structures their time well. If you have been depressed most of your life discipline should be explored now that the depression is gone.
Feeling more optimistic should not be taken for granted. You’ve possibly spent more of your life depressed than not, which makes the above points even more important to adopt into your new lifestyle.
The flip-side of taking an antidepressant that relieves the symptoms of depression for a client, is that it can fuel addictions just as it can fuel a structured healthy life. A person can choose not to adopt any of the above tools and continue using a substance that months previous was used to create distance from the very depression that they are now taking a medication for. Addiction, has to be addressed. The alcohol or drugs that seemed necessary for survival now will become more of a problem if there not stopped.
I hope that I have illuminated what could be possible for one who is battling depression and what some of the choices can be, once the decision is made to try a medication.
John Shinavier, MA, RYT, Life Coach Please take a moment and rate this blog by pressing the stars at the top of the blog. Thank You..To receive a new blog follow me.