#getting a job#You’re Fired#What Now?#Finding Work#out of work#reinventing yourself

All posts tagged #getting a job#You’re Fired#What Now?#Finding Work#out of work#reinventing yourself

“Feeling Good Doesn’t Come Easy.”

Posted by John Shinavier - Life Coach | Speaker on October 7, 2014
Posted in: General Blog, Therapy Blog. Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Leave a comment

Working with clients that are plagued by depression, as well as having a life long relationship with it myself, I think I can speak with some experience as to the effects that it can have on one’s life.  For myself, I found that living without treating ” it”, was a huge waste of time.  Depression can stop one from getting on with the life  they want.

Because of licensing agreements, most therapists cannot discuss one antidepressant against another with clients.  This is a doctors field of expertise.  I have often found the local Pharmacist to have more time and more information when comparing the side effects of say Prozac versus Lexepro to a potential consumer, than a doctor who doesn’t have the time for such a discussion.

So, hopefully, without too many changes of medication, you find the one that works for you.  The first thing you may notice is that you now have choices, that months prior to taking the medication you never thought you had.  It raises your tolerance for anxiety and gives you time for doing more of what you love. You have hope and dreams that now don’t seem all that impossible to achieve.

What I’ve yet to find is an easily understandable discussion or article that illuminates what a client who is beginning to feel better should explore while in this new state of awareness.

More specifically, I will address the tools that a client might work towards acquiring, while they are on an antidepressant that is working for them.  Because I myself have plateaued on these drugs, and have, over the years taken myself off of them as an experiment to see, if, in the absence of taking them, I can continue to “live free” of the medication. I have learned that the more I have practiced using newly acquired tools while on the medication, there stands a very good chance that I will rely on them more as I get older, rather the antidepressant.

For this blog I will simplify, rather than expand on what each behavioral change can do for a client, by using bullet points. While on an antidepressant a person could:

  • Exercise
  • Socialize
  • Go back to school, or explore another field of interest.
  • Meditate
  • Change diet
  • Start therapy to help focus on goals that seemed impossible before

If one or all of these resonate with you, than this article is dedicated to you.  All have proven to increase a persons mood and range of feelings about themselves and the world they live in.  If you were never disciplined before, than now is your chance to bring this into your life with a vengeance.  More than anything else a disciplined person is one who no longer procrastinates but structures their time well.   If you have been depressed most of your life discipline should be explored now that the depression is gone.

Feeling more optimistic should not be taken for granted.  You’ve possibly spent more of your life depressed than not, which makes the above points even more important to adopt into your new lifestyle.

The flip-side of taking an antidepressant that relieves the symptoms of depression for a client, is that it can fuel addictions just as it can fuel a structured healthy life.  A person can choose not to adopt any of the above tools and continue using a substance that months previous was used to create distance from the very depression that they are now taking a medication for.  Addiction, has to be addressed.  The alcohol or drugs that seemed necessary for survival now will become more of a problem if there not stopped.  

I hope that I have illuminated what could be possible for one who is battling depression and what some of the choices can be, once the decision is made to try a medication.  

John Shinavier, MA, RYT, Life Coach  Please take a moment and rate this blog by pressing the stars at the top of the blog.  Thank You..To receive a new blog follow me.

 

The “INTERVIEW”

Posted by John Shinavier - Life Coach | Speaker on August 19, 2014
Posted in: General Blog, Life Coach Blog, The Interview. Tagged: . 3 Comments

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You’ve been out of work for a long or a short time. You’ve been afraid to think that you would never work again, now you have actually secured a face to face interview. You might have lost your confidence while trolling through job site after job site and cleaning the house before the wife comes home. You don’t know who you’ve turned into, but whoever you were a few years back, you’re not the same man.

Somehow your resume, after numerous re-writes, has garnered the attention of someone in the position to hire you. You don’t know whether to cry in relief or rush out and charge a new suit to wear to the interview.

It might be as much as a decade since you went through this vetting process and your awkwardness may throw you off while you’re giving your 30 second summary of why this company should hire you? What should you do?

Barring everything else you should practice your opener with your wife/husband/partner, coach or a peer whose opinion you respect.  You’ve been out of circulation for a while and much has changed.

This morning I was coaching a very talented middle aged man for exactly this scenario. He has worked sporadically, his wife is pregnant, and he definitely wants to be secure in a company for at least five or more years having gone through their savings and a few loans from relatives. He had all it took to land this job and he rehearsed in front of me, I didn’t believe him and what he was trying to pitch me.

Clearly my office is an artificial setting but the stakes were too high for him to walk into an employer’s office without some practice. Throughout the 90 minute session he learned a lot.

  • Assuming that you’re wearing a suit that fits you well and shoes that are comfortable and
  • Polished . If you are sweating make sure your hands are dry, forget the rest. Real men sweat.
  • Read up on the company. You may be able to bring that knowledge into your pitch. This knowledge is expected.
  • Before you leave your car, take a few very deep breaths, this will calm you.
  • Be “on” as soon as you leave your car, say “Good morning” to any strangers who you may pass. (Anyone could be working in your boss’s office.) This removes your attention off your nerves and on to someone else.
  • Instill in yourself the time in your life when you felt powerful.
  • Check your posture. Stop bending forward, hold your head up. Now you look great!
  • Remember, the interviewer might take a phone call or interrupt you. Don’t let this throw you.
  • A firm handshake and good eye contact as you’re introduced.
  • Don’t let yourself get lost in a large couch or chair, sit on the edge of it with your back straight.
  • Start with your strongest goals that you reached in your last job. (this says you already know time management and how to work well within a group)
  • Everything that you say from then on should be from the angle of “This is what I bring to the table”.
  • If he doesn’t ask you if you have any questions, ask him if he has any questions about you.

It’s over. There may be more interviews or this one could be it. It’s not important. You’ve done your best, and you should be proud of yourself. Most of the time, it’s a crap-shoot anyway. How you were in the interview is all you got. The rest is out of your hands.   

Just read up on the company that you’re interviewing for, and how your skill set would be a fit there.  Good Luck!

 John Shinavier, MA, Coach, Motivational Speaker

 

 

Does This Sound Familiar?

Posted by John Shinavier - Life Coach | Speaker on August 8, 2011
Posted in: Life Coach Blog. Tagged: , , , , . 1 Comment

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You’ve been out of work for a long time. One year quickly became three. Any ounce of self respect and knowledge of what you use to know has gone the way of the “old technology”. Self confidence has been replaced by fear. What have you been doing for the past three years?  
We only got through to one of your referrals! Everyone that you knew at your last company has left!

Do you know the new systems?  I learn very quickly, you reply.  You’ve lost this job already. You can feel it. You’ve never felt like “yesterdays news” before. Whenever you interviewed for a job that you wanted, you got it. Now they won’t even meet with you. Chances are there will be several phone interviews by their assistants before you’ll ever meet anyone face to face. The money for the positions you’ve held in the past is lower now, and what you would not have considered doing a year ago is now at the top of your list, for here you are, applying at “Trader Joe’s” for part time work. You’ve had to dumb down your resume for practically any interview, only to be seen by a manager who’s looking for someone to stock shelves in the middle of the night or answer the phone!  Welcome to the new job market.

Everything has changed. Your buddies, like yourself, had to move out of expensive apartments and return to their bedrooms at home. Girlfriends stuck around until the money ran out, and you find yourself repeating what you did in
high school; throwing darts at your old dart board and watching a lot of porn on your MAC.
It’s maddening, but not impossible to find a job in your field. Depending on your area of expertise, you can count on getting hired for less than what you received six years ago. That’s a reality. Don’t let it throw you. Many recruiters that I
have talked to are saying that employers are putting all new hires on a year’s probation, for the simple fact that many job seekers find employment only to find a better job and quit.  Others are waiting until something better comes along, and yet, depending on the need, many will stay with the company that hires them and hope that after a few years the salaries and benefits will match their expectations.

According to a survey of college graduates, co-authored by Cliff Zukin, a Rutgers University political science and public policy professor, the Great Recession has hit them the hardest. “The median starting salary for those who graduated between 2006 and 2008 was thirty thousand. For the 2009 and 2010 grads, it dipped to twenty seven thousand. And women graduates continued to make less than men.” Zukin said that with future salaries dependent on the initial one. It could mean the recent grads will have lower earnings throughout their careers.