Life Coach Blog

Essential?

Posted by John Shinavier - Life Coach | Speaker on May 17, 2020
Posted in: General Blog, Life Coach Blog. Tagged: , , , , , . Leave a comment

 

I’ve been grappling with a few questions these past couple of months.  Predictably, a large part of the lasting fallout from the COVID-19 virus will be massive unemployment and more layoffs than we have seen in our lifetime. What will happen when the worst is over? 

With hundreds of businesses, restaurants, and other amenities shuttered, will there be any job waiting for your skills?  More people than ever will be looking for employment just to survive and provide for the necessities; to put food on the table and pay the rent. What I have been thinking and what has come up in conversations with friends and clients is:

“How essential to the new economy will I be?”

We have all been hunkered down with forced time off and nowhere to go that I have trouble remembering what day it is.  Thinking I was waking up on Sunday today, I was in the kitchen looking for the bagels I usually reserve for Sunday breakfast.  Not finding them, I became irritated until I noticed the automated calendar that showed that today was not a leisurely breakfast while reading the papers on my phone, but stress-inducing Monday, which happens to be the worst day of the week for me.

My dive into depression was interrupted by a call from a friend who a few months ago, had a job as a manager in a high-end restaurant.  The restaurant had scrapped all plans to reopen. I calmed myself with my first cup of tea and listened to not the anger or disappointment of someone unemployed but the excitement and optimism in his voice! After soul searching the first month of his unemployment, he had come up with a fresh idea about a new way of representing himself online as a consultant to a new food industry which will hopefully emerge.  In the past month with tenacity and creativity, he now viewed this period as one of the glass being half full, an opportunity to change.  He had reinvented himself!

After I rang off and poured myself another cup, I thought of others having trouble filling their days after their workouts were over, dogs walked, mail read, and Tik-Tok was no longer an option.  What to do now until much later when they order their take-out dinner in the evening on one of the apps?  Every day, with few exceptions, was another Groundhog Day, a carbon copy of the day before. 

In summary, which of the two examples are you?  Are you returning to a guaranteed position, or facing your worst fears as your former occupation is no longer an option? And, what will you do about it?

Have you become non-essential?

 

John Shinavier, MA, Life Coach

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Some Bad Habits and How to Break them.

Posted by John Shinavier - Life Coach | Speaker on March 7, 2019
Posted in: General Blog, Life Coach Blog. Leave a comment

 

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“This is not a habit.  It’s just something I like to do!”  If this comes after your unsolicited advice, then mind your own business and conjure up some of your habits which you might have a similar reaction if called on:

  1. Checking your phone, scrolling for messages, checking out who read what of your Instagram account, as a friend is waiting for a response.   Put the phone face down, and don’t answer it unless a call comes through.  Friends are important.  No one wants to feel that their playing second fiddle.
  2. Bitting your nails. I’ve seen more men doing this in public than women.  We do look at others hands for a variety of reasons.  Torn and bleeding cuticles is gross and doesn’t inspire trust/intimacy.  Start with a manicure, and follow through with clipping and using an emery board at home or office in private.
  3. Finishing another’s sentences before they’re done talking.  I’m guilty on this one.  Listen, they’ll be plenty of time to respond.  Especially frustrating when someone is a slow talker.  Listen, pay attention.  It shows that you value them, not necessarily what they may be saying.
  4.  If you have to smoke and don’t have any plans to stop, please remember those of us that you engage with and smell a sewer whenever you open your mouth. We love you, but a close conversation is going to be brief.  Suck on a mint or a chew peppermint gum.  Besides a smoker or someone who is congested, your pick of getting near to another is limited.

 John Shinavier, RYT, Life/Career Coach

 

Tell me what I can’t see

Posted by John Shinavier - Life Coach | Speaker on January 9, 2019
Posted in: General Blog, Life Coach Blog. Leave a comment

 

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Much of the work of a coach is teaching awareness to someone who has become dissatisfied with their place in work and life.  This clarity of viewing oneself with a sense of calm detachment replaces the emotional view.  It would be like cleaning one’s windshield of the bugs, stains, and filth and establishing a clear picture of one’s goals and the appropriate direction to take.  

As a coach, I listen as the client explains where they are stuck, and observe how they respond to questions that tell me what may be in their way to receiving what they see as their payoff.  That could be a position in a company or how to better respond to employees who make them cross or upset.  

A woman comes in who is in the position of settling her mothers’ estate and is mired in family squabbles.  She is a soft-spoken well-mannered lady who is trying to please everyone involved.  She had been the only caretaker of her mother who needed daily attention because she was having respiratory problems.  Not one of the other two siblings offered any help and rarely stopped in to visit her.  Consequently, when the mother passed, she gave everything to my client who had moved in and taken care of her.  The mother had stipulated in her will that no one but my client who had taken care of her every need for three years was to get a penny.  She had come to me because she needed to know if her instincts were correct.

What the above client received from her sessions.

  1. How to set boundaries
  2. The realization that both her brother and her sister were manipulating her.
  3. She learned that saying “No” was simply clear communication.
  4. She learned to ask her legal help precisely what she needed from them.
  5. She could still get her needs met without raising her voice and yelling.

A client will often come in with an evident sense of what they need to do to reach their goal and is looking for tools to accomplish it.  A client who was in charge of the disbursements of a large non-profit was becoming overwhelmed with his duties. He needed to be grounded and to stop dissociating when the responsibilities became overwhelming.

Here are some tools he learned.

  1. How to use his breath to self-sooth.
  2. To realize that he was not his thoughts.
  3. To meditate for ten minutes in the morning and ten minutes at night.

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Much of what is learned in session is detachment.  The ability to step outside of oneself and view from a place of clarity on how to accomplish something without the emotional baggage that sometimes comes with it.

John Shinavier, MA, Life Coach

We are not our thoughts!

Posted by John Shinavier - Life Coach | Speaker on September 11, 2018
Posted in: General Blog, Life Coach Blog. Tagged: , , , , , , , , . 2 Comments

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One of the most valuable lessons that I’ve learned is that I am not what I think.  So many of us believe that our mind is the most powerful tool that we have to function in the world.  

Did you know that our intuition is developed before our brain is?  Our intuition is never wrong, when we start tuning in to what it has to say to us.  Many of the those I have worked with have trouble with that.  It takes practice to hesitate, take a breath and sink into our intuition.  Our minds will always start chattering to ignore that interception and listen to it instead.  The mind is like a petulant child that wants more attention and will continue screaming until they receive it.

“The mind is a bad neighborhood.  Stay out of it!”

from the Big Book of AA

Meanwhile the intuition is silently waiting for our attention.  The source of most of our thoughts is rubbish.  The mind feeds on our fears, our cravings, and our desires.  When we continue to feed it, by letting our thinking process lead us by our nose to more complications in our lives, we waste precious time which could be used to ask our intuition what course we should take when we are pressed to make a choice.

In summary, before a decision is made, just take a breath, and feel yourself sinking into your diaphragm where intuition lies waiting for your question.  Ask, and there is the answer.  Maybe not the one you want, but in the long run, the perfectly crafted, very personal, answer that will benefit you.

John Shinavier, MA, RYT, Life Coach

“Drink as you Pour.”

Posted by John Shinavier - Life Coach | Speaker on June 9, 2018
Posted in: Life Coach Blog. Leave a comment

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A client that I have seen off and on for many years has held positions in large corporations, been a political strategist for a president,  and managed the philanthropic endeavors of a Forbes five hundred company.  He has been on a trajectory that we planned together and tweaked for over thirty years.  I’ll call him Will for this blog.  Will has come a long way in his life and has gathered awards and kudos along with large paychecks and apartments in several cities.  At his core, he is a wonderful giving person, however, at times forgets what he originally came in to me for.  Reviewing his notes we found his inability to set boundaries as one theme  and his feelings at times of becoming mentally and physically exhausted.  

A chaotic childhood,no personal space, and intrusive parenting gave him little time for himself.  Recognition that he was raised to be a people pleaser did not translate into having great confidence.  Boundaries were explained in session and his homework was setting healthy boundaries with family, colleagues, and friends.  His initial discomfort with saying “no” slowly changed and his life continued on its path to success and fulfillment.

Burnouts, of the kind that Will was experiencing were the result of his habit of over extending himself to those with whom he worked with.  This in itself does not create  feelings of exhaustion but when Will let his daily regiment of working out and taking time each day to meditate to be compromised, he began to realize that if he wanted to keep his competitive edge he needed this time in his day to recharge his batteries.  The motto that he acquired early on of “Drink while you pour.”,  when forgotten, led to these periods of mental exhaustion and physical stress until he brought his routine back into balance.

The benefit of taking care of oneself whether working, serving others, raising a family, or simply living one’s life is the secret of successful people.

John Shinavier

Life/Career Coach

 

Get In, Get Out!

Posted by John Shinavier - Life Coach | Speaker on September 21, 2015
Posted in: General Blog, Life Coach Blog, Therapy Blog. Tagged: , , , , , . 2 Comments

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Short Term Coaching

My specialty as a coach is working with individuals who do not want to be sitting on a couch two years from now.  They have a lot they want to accomplish in their lives, and their aware of time passing.  Here are a few bullet points that might make you a prime candidate for Short-term Therapy.

  • Want change now.
  • Realize the importance of making time for this to happen.
  • Be able to communicate to me what you might be dealing with.
  • Be honest.

Want to change now:  Though it is hard to change the older we get, it’s not the norm!  Many that come into therapy want to change and do.  It takes discipline and continuity.  See what in your life you have already applied this to with some success.

Realize that it takes Time:  Depending on the individual, it’s not uncommon for someone to see me 3 times a week, versus the usual once a week.  Clients have left here satisfied that they’ve gotten what they were seeking after two sessions.

This work is not for the meek or compliant.  When you find what you might have to change i.e., thinking patterns, behaviors, unclear communication skills, you’ll find what you’re made of and choose to continue.

Think of the worst thing you could share with someone and then imagine sharing it with your therapist.  We establish trust in the first session.  I’m on your side.  I want you to have everything that you are capable of having.  Why take weeks, months to get to the core of what it is that you’re struggling with?

Be Honest with yourself: I’m not an Alchemist, nor can I turn back time.  Your choices have led you to where you are now.  What changes in sessions is that you take responsibility for what has happened up until now, and we work on alternatives which you may not even be aware of that can bring you fulfillment, joy, and a new skill set to work with for the rest of your life.

I offer a 20 to 30 minute consultation free, before contracting with you.

John J. Shinavier, MA, RYT, Life Coach

Hitting the Wall

Posted by John Shinavier - Life Coach | Speaker on July 1, 2015
Posted in: General Blog, Life Coach Blog. Tagged: , , , , , , , . 1 Comment

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You’ve hit a wall!  A term I don’t use lightly, and in this case its definition is; when all attempts at receiving employment or starting a business have been met with no success.  You’ve exhausted all your friends, and your resume has to be continually updated to fill in all that “down time” with the last job you had two years ago.  

For anyone out there looking for a job whether you have the experience or not, but have gotten as far as the third interview, don’t give up.  This is not the time to feel sorry for yourself and start drinking or popping prescription drugs or smoking more than your usual amount of weed.

Everyone has a worst case scenario, and all are correct: 

  1. The company closed, and after forty years you still can’t retire.
  2. Your 27, graduated college three years ago and the stress you’re under with student loans and growing older in your old bedroom at your parents home is becoming an acceptable way of life.
  3. You’ve dropped out of high school, or you’ve graduated, and after going through many humiliating minimum wage jobs, you did what you thought was a sure thing and tried to join the armed forces only to find out you’re not qualified enough. 

What are You Made Of?

 Starting with those who are ten to five years away from retiring?  Check your ego at the door.  Follow through with any sensible suggestion that a friend or associate has suggested to you, and stop being so defensive.  Very few can enter a new company at the same pay or higher than the one they left.  Some younger people will do whatever you did for a lot less.  Take a walk in your neighborhood, talk to everyone.  Relationships new or old are sometimes your best chance at finding work.  Walk through the door of any business that has posted a help wanted sign.  Take anything that you can physically do that brings in money.  When you’re not cooking fries, or stacking boxes at a moving company, open your computer and continue looking.

 Those younger have more options when they’re finished with academia than the above to find something in their field to bring in a little income. money. 

Stay in or get in shape.  90% of employers are going to hire someone who is in shape, than one who is thirty pounds overweight.  It shows discipline and stamina and less absence from work.  No one wants to hear how you got that weight off, but you did, and that takes discipline. Know what you bring to whomever is interviewing you.  Do you have the following?  

  1. I’m punctual.
  2. I’m a team player. (have quantifiable examples ready.)
  3. I’m ambitious. (have examples available.)
  4. Have an answer ready for this question; Where do you see yourself in four years? (Tailor this response to the job you’re being interviewed for.)
  5. I’ll do whatever it takes to get the job done. 

In closing, use your available time well in developing the skills that you are passionate about.  Take a course on creative writing, computer software, managing a small business, anything that brings you joy.  Personal creativity according to what is being reported by futurists in the press, the more that you can do well, the better your chances are in being hired.     

John Shinavier, MA, RYT, Life Coach

 

 

 

 

 

Radical Therapy

Posted by John Shinavier - Life Coach | Speaker on November 10, 2014
Posted in: General Blog, Life Coach Blog. Tagged: , , , , . 1 Comment

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As a Therapist / Life Coach that enjoys helping people reach their goals and re-animate their lives.  Therapy can be exciting if you are so worn out from hitting the same familiar wall over and over again.   You can perhaps find relief by reaching out to someone who has experience in these matters and can oversee your big picture.

Age sometimes has a lot to do with how much a person can attempt to change their situation.  Regardless of age, there are some who still retain the mental and emotional flexibility to make changes.  I’d like to think when younger in their prime and faced with a challenge they charged into it gladly.  Now so many years later they are willing but need a little push.   

Years pass and experiences have been harvested and processed.  Choices may have been made to avoid, reject or jump in feet first to what life demanded. Optimism, that battery that continues to be drained, needs a tune-up.  Belief in oneself has perhaps drifted apart from intuition and needs to be connected again.

If any of the above resonates with you, then be aware that you’re not alone in this.  Without consciously being aware of it, we’ve hunkered down, and held tightly to what we have known, keeping anything unfamiliar out.  Distrust has taken the place of optimism.  Another way to clarify  this condition is that our pain, depression, and anxiety are known, and therefore there are no surprises.  It has a kind of fuzzy comfort to it. What I hear as a response to questions requiring change is;  “That’s not a problem, I’m fine with the way things are.” 

Once we identify what is holding them back (image of self, deeply flawed belief systems, etc.), then the choices come into sharp focus, and they either will continue in therapy or cease attending.

In pondering, as I do after a client has left, what else I could have said that could have made them more of a warrior in their process, what intervention, what sage advice could I have given?   I then realize my limitations in the time that I have had with them and can only hope that they return.

 What I would like to impart to a client resistant to change would be: “You have a year left to live, now be honest with yourself, nothing stands in your way.”  

John  Shinavier, MA, RYT, Life Coach [please take a moment and rate the blog with a star or two.  By leaving me your E mail and a response to a blog, it helps me help you more specifically.

 

The “INTERVIEW”

Posted by John Shinavier - Life Coach | Speaker on August 19, 2014
Posted in: General Blog, Life Coach Blog, The Interview. Tagged: . 3 Comments

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You’ve been out of work for a long or a short time. You’ve been afraid to think that you would never work again, now you have actually secured a face to face interview. You might have lost your confidence while trolling through job site after job site and cleaning the house before the wife comes home. You don’t know who you’ve turned into, but whoever you were a few years back, you’re not the same man.

Somehow your resume, after numerous re-writes, has garnered the attention of someone in the position to hire you. You don’t know whether to cry in relief or rush out and charge a new suit to wear to the interview.

It might be as much as a decade since you went through this vetting process and your awkwardness may throw you off while you’re giving your 30 second summary of why this company should hire you? What should you do?

Barring everything else you should practice your opener with your wife/husband/partner, coach or a peer whose opinion you respect.  You’ve been out of circulation for a while and much has changed.

This morning I was coaching a very talented middle aged man for exactly this scenario. He has worked sporadically, his wife is pregnant, and he definitely wants to be secure in a company for at least five or more years having gone through their savings and a few loans from relatives. He had all it took to land this job and he rehearsed in front of me, I didn’t believe him and what he was trying to pitch me.

Clearly my office is an artificial setting but the stakes were too high for him to walk into an employer’s office without some practice. Throughout the 90 minute session he learned a lot.

  • Assuming that you’re wearing a suit that fits you well and shoes that are comfortable and
  • Polished . If you are sweating make sure your hands are dry, forget the rest. Real men sweat.
  • Read up on the company. You may be able to bring that knowledge into your pitch. This knowledge is expected.
  • Before you leave your car, take a few very deep breaths, this will calm you.
  • Be “on” as soon as you leave your car, say “Good morning” to any strangers who you may pass. (Anyone could be working in your boss’s office.) This removes your attention off your nerves and on to someone else.
  • Instill in yourself the time in your life when you felt powerful.
  • Check your posture. Stop bending forward, hold your head up. Now you look great!
  • Remember, the interviewer might take a phone call or interrupt you. Don’t let this throw you.
  • A firm handshake and good eye contact as you’re introduced.
  • Don’t let yourself get lost in a large couch or chair, sit on the edge of it with your back straight.
  • Start with your strongest goals that you reached in your last job. (this says you already know time management and how to work well within a group)
  • Everything that you say from then on should be from the angle of “This is what I bring to the table”.
  • If he doesn’t ask you if you have any questions, ask him if he has any questions about you.

It’s over. There may be more interviews or this one could be it. It’s not important. You’ve done your best, and you should be proud of yourself. Most of the time, it’s a crap-shoot anyway. How you were in the interview is all you got. The rest is out of your hands.   

Just read up on the company that you’re interviewing for, and how your skill set would be a fit there.  Good Luck!

 John Shinavier, MA, Coach, Motivational Speaker

 

 

Coaching the High-School or College Graduate for Success in an Indifferent World

Posted by John Shinavier - Life Coach | Speaker on January 28, 2014
Posted in: Life Coach Blog. 2 Comments

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  • Language Skills

Breaking down how you speak

How much do you have to say? (It turns out, less is  more)

Replacement vocabulary (holding their interest)

Speaking with absolute conviction (how to practice, and hearing how you express yourself)

English 101 / How you speak validates you or keeps you down.

Personal shortcomings (Stuttering.  Huh is never used in conversation.)

 Appearance

How much do you actually have the power to change?  What’s with the uniform?

What your appearance says about you

Personal flaws i.e.: sweating, personal hygiene, talking while gesturing

 Knowledge of Self

Finding your personal power (self knowledge is your strongest ally)

Finding what you already have that could help you and rejecting the rest

Knowing what you want, and knowing when to compromise.

Recognizing and dealing with your own demons and how to manage them.

You have the knowledge, but not the social skills.

Networking…..something you do your whole life.

Knowledge of Company

Basic knowledge of interested company

Resume rewrites/ There is more than one resume!

Elevator pitch/ 30 sec. to sell yourself.

What ARE you are bringing to them?

On the Spot wisdom

How to calm yourself (Breathing & Acting)

The wisdom of hesitation

When thrown, how to get back on track

When to be personable

It’s just a job and not a political office.  When to use humor

How taking rejection as a challenge instead of a personal flaw.

The first importance of the first 30 seconds

Coming out of isolation and joining the work force

Sometimes you have to “settle”.

Finances

School loans? Savings? Part time vrs. Full time (putting off your dream)

Clear communication skills ( Knowing when to push and when to fold when presented with a $number.  Staying home (saving money) vrs a life-style (that you can’t yet afford).

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Your schooling is behind you now and hopefully has prepared you for not only the job market, but the social one as well.  Maybe you have or haven’t got any connections in your choice of business.  Maybe you were lied to by well intentioned parents and friends and reassured that your future was set.  Maybe you were given things that you wanted instead of earning them.  The former has developed a muscle that you never had to.  Guess what?  They have the edge.

Perhaps you need to sit down with someone that you trust to help you on your way, a Coach who will help you edit and prepare yourself for the professional world.  Someone who see’s and hears how you got this far, and knows to tell you the truth about how you come across.  Someone who sees past the bull shit but never makes you feel like your being judged.  Someone who believes in and helps you find your own individual personal power.  A coach who only wants you to be as big as you can “out there” and knows that playing small serves no one especially yourself.

John Shinavier, MA, RYT, Life Coach

Take the List out of your Head

Posted by John Shinavier - Life Coach | Speaker on October 28, 2013
Posted in: Life Coach Blog. Tagged: . Leave a comment


Your mindIn working with clients I try to use the last few minutes to ask them to relay back to me what was discussed in their session.  This tells me what they didn’t hear or take in and it lets them say in their voice what they remember.   Many will forget that they have some homework to do by their next session.  I always encourage each client to arrive at therapy with a notebook that is used just for jotting down questions, statements or themes of their sessions.

Like most people we keep too much of what we have to do or remember in our short term memory bank.  I’ve always been a big list person.  Like a calendar on the wall or on your phone with a reminder alarm, you write a note when you want to change something in your life, and then as you practice doing the behavior on a daily basis you place a mark on each day on your list or calendar.  It seems, in my experience, that the people that do this get more things done and know their priorities better.  For example if your working on growing a better sense of self-esteem, I might ask you just for the week to speak no negativity of yourself for that week.  Never mind what comes in your mind, for one week try and not speak badly about yourself.  The list is you taking responsibility for wanting to change.  It’s there on your mirror or your desk in the same spot everyday just to remind yourself what your short term goal is for the week.  This simple tool if practiced, shows your progress, where if it’s only in your mind, you’ll never be truly sure.

John Shinavier, MA, Solution Focus Therapist, Life Coach and RYT

 

 

The Comprehensive Final Sessions

Posted by John Shinavier - Life Coach | Speaker on September 23, 2013
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 A Preview of What is Expected of You and How to Prepare Yourself For It!

My Coaching and Therapist careers have brought to my attention the need for the following Skills/Insights when entering the Job Market whether your fresh out of School or been unemployed for a number of years.  

   ♦  Though the graduate has worked hard for the past two to six years and knows his/her subject well, it seems more is needed, an edge if you will, to secure employment in a weak and crowded job environment.  

   ♦  You’ve been unemployed for a year or more and your confidence needs a boost and your resume some “Spin”?

   ♦  Coming out of Isolation and joining the Work Force.  

   ♦  Suddenly Single to No Longer Working From Home.

     

1.  How you say, what you say, speaks volumes about you.

Breaking down how you speak.  How much do you have to say?

Replacement words (holding their interest) Thesaurus anyone?

Speaking with Conviction.

English 101.  Personal shortcomings (Huh, is never used  in conversation.)

2.  Appearance

What your appearance could be saying about you.

3.  Knowledge of Self

Finding what you already have that can help you and knowing how to edit.

Recognizing and dealing with your own “limitations” and how to manage them.

4.  Knowledge of “The Position”

Resume Rewrites to bring yours to the top of the pile.

What Are You bringing to Them?

5.  On the Spot wisdom

Importance of the breath and learning the subtext necessary to good acting when needed.

When thrown, how to get back on track.

How taking Rejection as a challenge, instead of a personal flaw.

It’s just a job and not a Political Office.  When to use Humor!

Your schooling is behind you and hopefully you feel ready to seek employment in your field of interest.    It’s been a few years since your last job, and self-doubt has really begun to be the loudest voice in your head.  Maybe you were lied to by well-intentioned parents and friends and reassured that your future was set, only to find that it’s not going to be that easy.  

Perhaps you need to sit down with a 3rd party that will be honest with you and help you edit and prepare yourself for the professional world.  Someone who sees through the fear but never makes you feel like your being judged when he gives you feed-back.  Someone who believes in and helps you find your own individual power.  A Coach who only wants you to be as big a presence out there as you can and knows that its time you regrouped and assessed honestly what you have to offer.

Twenty to thirty minutes free consultation for new clients only.  John Shinavier, MA

Perfecting the Interviewing Process

Posted by John Shinavier - Life Coach | Speaker on September 23, 2011
Posted in: Life Coach Blog. Tagged: , , , , , , , . 1 Comment

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Thereare many, many more intangibles at play in an interviewing process besides your appearance and the particular skill set that you bring to the job. I have coached many clients on preparing for an interview that brings about a new empowerment for them, whether they receive the position or not. You only have yourself, your own accountability, and your skills to present yourself in a positive way. No one, who helps you prepare for an interview can promise you anything more than this.

There are so many variables at work that pass unconsciously and consciously between the interviewer and the one being interviewed in the first three minutes of the appointment. Below are some of the topics that I coach the
client in how to give the “Perfect Interview!”

Having had many careers spanning my fifty plus years on the planet, my people skills have been sharpened, and I’ve more often than not gotten the job that I’ve  wanted because I have used these following skills and insights to their best advantage.

  • Treat the interviewer as a potential client without kissing up!
  • Don’t memorize, but know the important points of your resume
  • Rather  than reading your resume, ask what they are looking for  and provide those details
  • Watch your body language, it speaks volumes about you
  • Ask questions, it shows interest and passion
  • Watch your speech, don’t rush, don’t over talk. Stay on your breath
  • Listen, lean forward
  • Look in their eyes
  • Your voice should be level, without losing energy
  • Act “as if” you already have the job. This relaxes your body, and reads as confidence
  • Tell them, once they’ve identified who they are and what they need, the skills you bring to the position
  • Do have at hand, referrals from people, who will speak well of you
  • If you’ve been fired, be honest, but make it more about the positive aspects i.e.: what you learned etc.
  • It’s okay to ask the interviewer how long they’ve worked for the company. Remember they are not out for your job, their just doing theirs. In answering that question they unknowingly will reveal information, negative or positive about the company.
  • What is your web presence? Your future employer might have already checked this. It’s very important that depending on the skills your selling, that you blog, have a web page (new business card) and generally have nothing incriminating on the web that shows you in a negative light.
  • Look your best!  Have a set of clothes, dry cleaned, pressed and ready for interviews.  Have a manicure, or at least be aware of what your fingernails look like; torn, and bloody cuticles are noticed and do not inspire confidence.  Wear something that your are comfortable in, but make sure it fits correctly.

All you can do is your best. The above information can help you. This much is under your control.

Does This Sound Familiar?

Posted by John Shinavier - Life Coach | Speaker on August 8, 2011
Posted in: Life Coach Blog. Tagged: , , , , . 1 Comment

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You’ve been out of work for a long time. One year quickly became three. Any ounce of self respect and knowledge of what you use to know has gone the way of the “old technology”. Self confidence has been replaced by fear. What have you been doing for the past three years?  
We only got through to one of your referrals! Everyone that you knew at your last company has left!

Do you know the new systems?  I learn very quickly, you reply.  You’ve lost this job already. You can feel it. You’ve never felt like “yesterdays news” before. Whenever you interviewed for a job that you wanted, you got it. Now they won’t even meet with you. Chances are there will be several phone interviews by their assistants before you’ll ever meet anyone face to face. The money for the positions you’ve held in the past is lower now, and what you would not have considered doing a year ago is now at the top of your list, for here you are, applying at “Trader Joe’s” for part time work. You’ve had to dumb down your resume for practically any interview, only to be seen by a manager who’s looking for someone to stock shelves in the middle of the night or answer the phone!  Welcome to the new job market.

Everything has changed. Your buddies, like yourself, had to move out of expensive apartments and return to their bedrooms at home. Girlfriends stuck around until the money ran out, and you find yourself repeating what you did in
high school; throwing darts at your old dart board and watching a lot of porn on your MAC.
It’s maddening, but not impossible to find a job in your field. Depending on your area of expertise, you can count on getting hired for less than what you received six years ago. That’s a reality. Don’t let it throw you. Many recruiters that I
have talked to are saying that employers are putting all new hires on a year’s probation, for the simple fact that many job seekers find employment only to find a better job and quit.  Others are waiting until something better comes along, and yet, depending on the need, many will stay with the company that hires them and hope that after a few years the salaries and benefits will match their expectations.

According to a survey of college graduates, co-authored by Cliff Zukin, a Rutgers University political science and public policy professor, the Great Recession has hit them the hardest. “The median starting salary for those who graduated between 2006 and 2008 was thirty thousand. For the 2009 and 2010 grads, it dipped to twenty seven thousand. And women graduates continued to make less than men.” Zukin said that with future salaries dependent on the initial one. It could mean the recent grads will have lower earnings throughout their careers.